


Dark Before Dawn

by LadyOfTheOldWorld



Series: Children of Agni [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Contemplated Suicide Attempt, Cutting, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Sibling Love, Sibling Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 17:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10791231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyOfTheOldWorld/pseuds/LadyOfTheOldWorld
Summary: Before everything comes crashing down. Before everything goes to Hell. Azula skips the medications she refuses to admit she needs; her thoughts, actions, feelings run rampant as a consequence. And then, when the sun comes up, Zuko is there to help her pick up the pieces.- - - -A sweet moment between the siblings, following a night of Azula's BPD running wild inside her head. Rated for mentions of cutting and a contemplated suicide attempt.





	Dark Before Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place at least a year before the events described in "Twisted, Messed Up." Nothing is mine but Zhuo and the plot. Yue belongs to my best friend. Most of this is based on my own struggles with BPD, so please don't be too harsh.

In all truth, she didn't know if she'd ever really been manic, but she did know she'd been plenty depressive. Mostly when she skipped school for days on end, wanting nothing more than to curl into a ball in bed and die. Or when her family had dragged her out to dinner, pretending they were a normal family, and like the world wasn't crashing down around their ears. But sometimes, sometimes she'd just laugh and laugh and scream and cry, all in her own head. And then she'd take a razor to her wrists – no, she didn't care about hygiene just then, or if the cuts got infected – and watch as the blood streamed into her hands, waiting for the sting that told her she was still alive. Then there were the times she'd just wander through the halls of the mansion. She'd cry, scream, hate, rage, curse her ~~dead~~ mother, her father, her brother, her friends, her uncle, her ~~dead~~ cousin…

She hated them, all they should all, die they meant nothing to her. No, she loved them, she never wanted them to leave, they were all she had. Then, she'd simply sink to the floor, rocking herself while she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And sometimes, sometimes she would just sit there. Just sit there and stare into the blackness that was the house when she was having an insomniac spell, just thinking. She would wonder at the point of any of this. Why she was still here. Why she hadn't just killed herself and gotten it over with yet.

Then the sun would come up on her thoughts and disjointed mental ramblings. She would find a pair of eyes the exact same color of her own staring back at her. A hand in each of her own, gently leading her to her room, and helping her to take her medication. The medication she refused to admit she needed, but knew that she couldn't function without. A sleeping pill, an anti-psychotic, and an anti-depressant. Then she would be tucked into bed, a kiss placed to her forehead.

" _I love you, Zuzu,"_ she'd whisper, as she watched him leave.

" _I love you, too, Zula,"_ he'd murmur, closing the door to her room gently but firmly.

Then - finally - she would sleep, his words her comfort in her dreams.


End file.
